your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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