i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
