I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
