i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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