he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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