Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
