carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
