they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
