did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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