Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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