also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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