He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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