its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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