Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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