I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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