last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
