I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
