hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.