Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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