just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
