we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
