I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
