hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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