Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
