Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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