lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
