How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
