I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
