I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
they're like a gay fantastic four
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
