Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
