he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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