That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
