I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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