I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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