What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
