You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
