South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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