I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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