chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
