Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i believe in u and ur pee
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
