I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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