The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize