I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
