I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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