I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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