I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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