I think I died a long time ago.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
