When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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