It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
