i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
