Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
