Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
