I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
