we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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