Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
