Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
