So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
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Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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