Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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