so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
