btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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