so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
