i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize