I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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