i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
