I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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