You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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